Feeling overwhelmed and lost

Feeling overwhelmed and lost is something unfortunately I have come used to over the last couple of weeks. My health has not been the best, I’m trying to lower the dose of one of my meds, I got a virus that landed me in A&E….yeah it’s not been fun!

Let’s start with the opioid crisis, I’m sure most chronic illness warriors have heard of this and it was just affecting America. However, it would seem that our government have taken a note from there and changed one of my meds to a class C drug. So I had to have a phone call with my GP practice pharmacist to see if I legitimately should be using Pregabalin. He agreed I could continue on it but I asked to come down off it because there must be a reason it changed and he agreed for me to come off one dose for two weeks so instead of 4 tablets a day I take 3 and keep a diary.

Now if I can get in with my GP in 2 weeks I need to go she will look at my diary and decide how to proceed which seems like a really good way to keep an eye on it and to get a good plan going. I’m on day 3 at the moment and I can really feel the difference already!

My decision to try and come down off my meds as well has been triggered by gastric issues I have been having. Late last year I was taken off one of my pain meds completely because it interacted with an antibiotic and caused gastritis. Since then I have had a lot of stomach aches, problems going to the toilet, and stomach swelling none of which are nice.

I have been taking quite high pain meds for half my life and I am scared that is what has caused a lot of my problems. The pain and increased brain fog is leaving me feeling overwhelmed and lost, to be honest I’m not sure I can do this especially as there isn’t much else the NHS offers to help pain.

A week or so ago I ended up being sent to hospital after being sick what they suspected was blood as it was black and looked like coffee grounds. When that happened my husband called an ambulance they said it was a migraine and said to take paracetamol….yeah!

The next day we called for the GP to come check on me and they suspected an upper GI bleed and sent me to hospital. Hours later they said all my bloods came back normal and to go home probably a virus and to rest. I’m still having stomach aches but cannot get in with our Drs so I’m hoping to get some answers when they review my meds.

My husband is worried sick and announced we should watch a documentary called heal on Netflix. It was everything I believe that our bodies can heal spiritually and that by eating the right foods and meditating etc we can heal from all kinds of illnesses.

However, I have been left feeling angry because none of this is believed by ‘modern medicine’ though we can see it and that is how we healed for thousands of years! We can not afford for me to eat like that and take supplements and go to crystal healers and holistic doctors! I don’t even get all my benefits no matter then coming off healthcare that is free to then pay a lot of money for things that can heal me but take time.

It’s frustrating because Doctors it seems don’t care about the root causes of things, like why am I in pain in my stomach? They just look at results see the tests they have done so far are clear and then conclude either it’s in my head or I can live with it…if I just take more meds that then have side effects….

You can see why I’m feeling overwhelmed and lost right? I mean one way I’m on meds that are full of side effects for the rest of my life and maybe never find out what’s wrong, or I walk away and spend all our money on healing but potentially get well and end up with nothing….to be honest I’m really frustrated anyone else feel like this?

Namaste xxx