Find space to breathe

I have been making changes in my life, trying to find space to breathe and feel happier and healthier its a process!!

Change is never easy, years ago my routines were healthy and I felt better in myself I did some exercise every day, did a little cleaning, I cooked and meditated… my life was lived for me to be happy and healthy.

Then I took a break one Christmas for 2 weeks off my daily yoga practice and never restarted, I moved in with my mom to help her and stopped having energy to cook and clean. Time moves on and I am left realising I have been eating a lot of rubbish and I just find myself having more bad days than good with my chronic illnesses.  

So, this spring something clicked in my brain, and I decided things need to change I need to put myself first and start to be better and live better. I cannot keep looking after mom and myself and take care of my illnesses something has to give.

Announcing that I would be dropping down to one YouTube video a week instead of two was a difficult decision to make but had to be done. At the time I was unsure of how much of a difference it would make but honestly I have so much more time now!

As my body started to readjust, I find myself looking at ways to bring my old routines back into my life. I plan on attempting a routine from my Accessible Exercise Playlist at least every other day but eventually daily. Time at my altar meditating and is also planned so I treated myself to a new book called The Tarot Spreads Yearbook, so I can bring daily tarot journaling into my life.

In an effort to keep an eye on my chronic illnesses I also bought myself a chronic illness journal and use the Visible app every day. Keeping everything to do with my symptoms written down is great for evidence for doctors etc and will help me see if my plans help.

My body feels sore, and tired right now, but as I try to find space to breathe, I have new hope that things will settle down. Less sugar in my diet, more movement and time in meditation are all things suggested to help chronic pain.

I also hope to find a spiritual and grounding morning and evening practice that will help frame my days and help me find consistency. I hate not making so much content for YouTube, as watch time is the only thing stopping me being monetised. However, looking after myself needs to be something that I do right now, and who knows maybe when these things are in place I can add more content.

Mindfulness is a big part of my life that stops me struggling with negative and depressing thoughts so much. While I am in transition I am constantly listening to my body and what it needs, right now it is longing for a break.

So, daily movement, meditation, journaling and a healthier diet are the long term goals I have set for myself. I will slowly add in things like a morning and evening routine but for now I am going to just set small steps for myself.

Trying to do too much too quickly can be dangerous, it is likely to fail and will only leave you feeling disappointed and back at square one. Building goals slowly over time is much more likely to achieve success, so while I sit writing this I am reminding myself as much as you!

When your body is struggling, it can all too often feel out of control, our illnesses so often run the show. But I hope by tackling things I do have control over I can help my body find space to breathe, and heal.

Thank you xx

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