Money and mental health

Most of us know that money and mental health go hand in hand, but being forced to live on benefits is not seen with such compassion. People assume that benefits are easy to get and once you have them, that’s it you are set up and able to chill. But those of us who are disabled and have chronic illnesses know that is not true, so let’s get into it.

How money affects my mental health

My life changed drastically a few years ago when we had to move in with my mom to help her as she was struggling living on her own. She has multiple sclerosis and previous head injury which affects her wanting to take care of herself.

We sold our home to move into my childhood home and though we had the money from selling the house that soon went on house repairs. We converted our double garage into a space for us, and the house needed a new roof, before we knew it our money was gone. This often happens as parents get older and are unable to keep up on looking after a home, but it is worrying not having money as a cushion.

My husband worked full time as a police officer, now he cares for me and my mom and gets carers allowance for my mom. He soon saw that we were struggling with just me taking care of her, and honestly being in the police was affecting his mental health.

Right now, the government is moving everyone from one of my disability benefits called ESA to universal credit. This process should be easy, but of course it isn’t as we have needed to go and see Citizens Advice and been on the phone for hours with the DWP. This is because whatever level the benefit is at when you migrate is protected, so we want to be sure that everything is in place.

Of course, the two agencies cannot agree on what we should be having, and so it just makes everything even more stressful. Money and mental health are so linked, and me and my husband wish we didn’t have to be on benefits at all. If we could both work full time, we would have so much money to live better lives, but we cannot change our health or circumstances.

I often think, if only I could work from home, but the truth is that my fatigue would make that impossible. Coming to terms with that has always been hard for me, I tried so many different jobs at first trying to find something I could do. But when I stopped pushing myself my symptoms calmed down, in the end I had to accept that work was not something my body could cope with.

This reality and these circumstances will keep us living on very little money unless we can find a way to change it ourselves. My husband is trying to start his own business because he only gets my mom’s carers allowance, which is not a lot of money. We have bills to pay and shopping to buy it soon adds up, and on top of that we need to decorate the house which hasn’t been touched in decades.

What to do that will help

So, what should we do when money is an issue and is affecting our mental health?

• Get advice – There are many ways to get help in the UK, you can go to the DWP directly on the telephone or go to one of many charities available. This time we went to Citizen’s Advice, however there are many charities available we have a very good local one we see as well. Ask around and get as much advice and information as you can. Knowledge is power and it will help you when it comes to getting benefits or finding a job that fits your needs.
• Don’t borrow – It can be so tempting to borrow money from relatives, friends or even from places we know better than to go to. I got so many adverts for places to borrow money easily when researching for this post, I know how tempting it is. But borrowing will just add to the pressure and stress, most banks offer advice and help if needed so go and see the banks or companies direct don’t be tempted.
• Stay grounded in reality – It can be appealing to turn to ways of escaping reality when money and mental health are involved. From gambling, drugs and alcohol to porn and chat rooms, but reality is less likely to lead to further problems around addiction.
• Get out – This is a big one, and something that is hard when stress and depression are taking their toll. But things like spending time outside in nature, or going for a walk in a local park, are proven ways to help our mental health. Stepping out of your worries and fears and being mindful even for a short time will help so if you can go outside and get out of your brain.
•  Think outside the box – It can be so easy to assume Monday to Friday 9-5 jobs are the only way to make money. However, we are blessed with so many ways to make money now, so if you have the internet, or a way to get access to it you have options. From creating art to sell, to mending clothes, modding discord servers, editing for youtubers really the only thing holding you back is yourself. So, think about the things you love to do or are talented at and see if there is a way to use that to start your own business.

I really hope that if money and mental health are issues for you right now that this post helped you feel less alone and gave you some ideas. It can feel so overwhelming sometimes, that it’s important to know you aren’t alone and there are options and help available. Let me know if I missed anything in the comments

Thank you xx

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